From:Matt
To:*Galactic-Enquirer
Stardate:20041030.0443
Subject:Rihannsu Imperial News at 11.

"This is Dran tr'Ather from Ra'tleihfi for Imperial Network News and -- one moment --" there is a pause, a short scuffle in the background, and somebody exclaiming (in Rihannsu, but helpfully translated): "The Galactic Enquirer? What kind of lloann'na-sponsored journalistic trash--" and another scuffle, and then Dran beams back at the camera.

"...and the Galactic Enquirer with some breaking news on the ever-turbulent political atmosphere of the Empire. In our last update, not carried by the Galactic Enquirer," (off-camera: '...astronomical broadcast license fee, litigious bastards...') "...we covered the meteoric rise of a handful of candidates for both houses of the Rihannsu Senate, or Deihu, hailing from the hfihar s'Aegis and competing almost exclusively against hfihar s'Khnialmnae, attacking the larger and older hfihar on the grounds that it is weak on defence and altogether too welcoming of Outworlders."

The camera cuts to older footage of the Rihannsu banner being raised alongside the Federation and Klingon Empire's on Hellesport. It then cuts to a fairly backwater drinking establishment on ch'Havran in which the local patrons are viewing said footage and delivering appropriate expletives, throttling the bartender, and so on.

"As of earlier this evening," the camera cuts back to Dran, "Nearly half of the s'Aegis Deihu candidates not only withdrew themselves from the race, but actively endorsed their s'Khnialmnae opponents as being tough on defence, when they had several days earlier sworn up and down the reverse."

The camera cuts to a crowded ch'Havran street, lined with soldiers in full dress regalia and cheering crowds. In the middle of the street is a series of floats, many of which sport well-regarded political and military officials from all over the Empire. On the largest float, in the middle of the parade, are two figures: an exquisitely dressed Rihanha in an Enriov's uniform and the trappings of s'Khnialmnae, and an almost-as-exquisitely-but-not-quite clad figure wearing the uniform of an Enarrain and a very expensive-looking pendant that identifies him, to anyone familiar with such things, as the head of hfihar s'Aegis.

"Spokesmen for hfirnn s'Aegis and s'Khnialmnae today announced a formal political alliance, followed shortly thereafter by a lavish military parade on ch'Havran. The sudden union of the two houses, regarded by some as a political reversal, was shrugged off by their spokesmen, who indicated that there had been a significant meeting in which many grievances were addressed and unity decided on as the quickest road to a stronger Empire. Polls show this to be very much the case, with two formerly oft-controversial figures, Ralon tr'Aegis and Shihaya t'Khnialmnae, appearing in public together to celebrate both the new alliance and tr'Aegis' recent (and surely unrelated) promotion to the rank of Senior Centurion, or, for those lloann'na worms out there among our viewers, Admiral. Enarrain tr'Aegis was appointed Commander of the Rihannsu First Fleet, the largest task force in the Galae -- a prestigious appointment sure to bring mnhei'sahe to s'Aegis and s'Khnialmnae as well, given their newfound support taking the place of their fiercest rival."

Enarrain tr'Aegis and khre'Enriov t'Khnialmnae stand together, waving cheerily at the crowd. Exotic flowers are strategically thrown by spinmeisters onto rank and file soldiers.

I'm Dran tr'Ather, and this is Imperial Network News, 'Your Only Source For Everything, Or Else.' (Daily Lotto Numbers are 41-67-91-02.)